How Mindfulness Can Improve Your Relationships

Recently mindfulness has become a bit of a buzzword. It has been introduced in everything from therapy to elementary schools as a way to promote wellbeing, increase distress tolerance, and improve self-regulation. However, mindfulness can also help improve our relationships.

Whether focused on family, friends, or romance, mindfulness can improve your relationships. This may begin with you practicing mindfulness on your own. Then you may extend to doing mindfulness activities specifically geared for groups, families, or partners.

Mindfulness is effective in relationships because it helps us focus on the present. Many times when we are with others we are distracted. We are focused on our phones, we worry about our to-do list, or we stress over how something went earlier in our day.

Mindfulness forces us to be present. By focusing on what is going on in the moment we can appreciate the other person—see them for who they are, listen to what they are trying to tell us, and recognize what they are feeling. These 5 activities can cultivate mindful relationships.

Mirroring is a great activity that can be both fun and mindful. Sit or stand across from the other person. One person will take the lead and engage in slow movements that the other person will mirror. Then switch places. Use this opportunity to really see the other person.

Reflective Listening can transform relationships. While listening to the other person notice what they are saying, both verbally and non-verbally. Then reflect that back without judgement or problem solving, such as “It sounds like your day was both productive and exhausting.”

Mindful Noticing is a practice of really paying attention to the other person. Spend time sitting with them and notice who they are—their physical characteristics, personality, strengths, desires, and frustrations. Share with them these things as a form of appreciation.

Emotional Reflection is a tool to use when someone is upset. Often we try to jump into minimizing or problem solving in these situations. Instead notice what is happening and then reflect that to them. For example “It sounds like you’re really angry with your boss.”

Active Silence allows us to be present without words. Sit across from someone and look at each other without speaking. This can be a lighthearted attempt to make your child smile using silly facial expressions or a meaningful gaze into your partner’s eyes.

Mindfulness is a wonderful tool to help us set aside the distractions and focus on the people we care about. By being present in our relationships we can build deeper, stronger connections with our family, friends, and loved ones.