How to Support Someone Experiencing Grief

Grief is a universal experience that comes in many forms. While mainly associated with mourning the loss of someone (whether their life has ended or not) it can also mean dealing with the loss of a part of ourselves, like, for example, the love we were deprived of in childhood.

Rather than occurring over a fixed period of time, grief is something we carry with us throughout our lives. Everyone feels and processes it differently so we have to be mindful of the way we approach every manifestation. Here's how you can support someone going through it.

Be present. This is the foundation of effective support. Whatever type of communication you use, ensure you're in a calm state that's ready to listen and receive, rather than "do" and instruct. Simply let your loved one know that you're here and available for them.

Offer practical help. Often overwhelming, it can be challenging for those going through grief to take care of their basic needs. So why not offer to help with tasks like grocery shopping, cooking, or errands? This simple, kind gesture can heal beyond the act itself.

Respect their feelings. Grief is a highly personal experience and everyone deals with it differently. While they may not express or process it like you, it's essential you respect their unique experience. Don't try to "fix "their feelings. Just be there for them.

Encourage self-care. Grief can be exhausting, both emotionally and physically. Gently encourage your loved one to take care of themselves by getting enough rest, eating well, and slowly ushering joy back into their lives. Though it's essential you are mindful in your approach.

Be patient. There's no rushing this ancient process. Healing can often take a great deal of time and people require varying amounts. Remember, when you're supporting someone in their grief, know that one doesn't "get over it", but integrates and grows from it. Be patient.

Seek outside support. Your needs are also important. If your loved one is struggling with their grief and you feel like you're unable to properly support them, it could be helpful to encourage them to seek outside support from a professional counsellor or grief support group.

Ultimately, there's no "right" way to grieve and everyone's experience is different. The most important thing you can do is to be there for your loved one, offer support and compassion, and respect their feelings and process.

While grieving is often seen in a negative light it can also be beautiful. It connects us to the greater scheme of the universe and has tremendous power for awakening. When supporting someone grieving, your role is to tend to the lotus flower that eventually booms.