How to suffer like a pro

Written by American psychiatrist M.Scott Peck in 1978, The Road Less Traveled opens with a simple statement- ‘life is difficult’. From the outset, the author is clear that he will speak to his audience plainly and boldly.

Often considered a self-help classic, the book argues that all mental illness stems from people’s tendency to avoid the pain inherent in growing up and solving the problems of life.

Thus, the book is an attempt to give you techniques and tools to ‘suffer better’. It helps you confront what Carl Jung called ‘legitimate suffering’ i.e. suffering and pain inevitable when confronting the challenges of life. 

Peck covers 4 broad themes- discipline, love, religion and grace, and in doing so intersects spirituality and psychology. Instead of separating these two disciplines, Peck finds how they complement each other. 

Discipline: since confronting the challenges of life is arduous, it is techniques of suffering or discipline that can help us. These include delaying gratification, taking responsibility, dedicating ourselves to truth and choosing balance. 

These practices in themselves aren’t complex. However, the will needed to exercise them is the challenge. This is where Love comes in. 

Love: Peck defines love as the ability and will to extend oneself for the spiritual growth of the other or oneself. As opposed to attraction, romanticism, dependency or attachment, Love is work. It demands effort, patience and discipline. 

Religion: As we grow in discipline and love, our understanding of the world grows. This, Peck broadly defines as our ‘religion’. As opposed to a social institution, religion here is our personal understanding of how the world works. Thus science, too, is a form of religion.

Grace: Originating outside of human consciousness but existing for human growth, Grace is the mysterious force that assists our spiritual growth. We aren’t alone when confronting challenges since manifestations of grace (coincidence, serendipity, chance) are there to assist us.

Bottom line: When closely read, The Road Less Traveled is an ingenious work in assisting you with mental well-being and spiritual growth. It continues to be a book widely celebrated for the simple reason that its wisdom remains timeless.