Buddhist Wisdom on Identifying and Maintaining True Love

Renowned Zen Monk Tich Nhat Hanh compiled brief, timeless insights on love according to the Buddhist tradition in the book "True Love". People of any faith can learn from, practice and utilize these philosophical ideas to improve their relationships.

The four aspects of love: Buddhism describes four key aspects of true love - lovingkindness, compassion, joy and freedom.

Lovingkindness: True love requires the willingness and ability to bring joy to the person you love. It involves looking deeply into the soul of your love and understanding them so well that you know precisely what will bring them joy.

Compassion: This is the desire and ability to recognize when your love is suffering and to be able to ease their pain. This also requires deep looking and understanding.

Joy: Joy is a clear indicator of love. If you and your love are only suffering and causing one another to suffer, there is no love. Without joy, true love is non-existent.

Freedom: True love is giving and receiving freedom. You and your love should both feel free internally and externally. Feeling trapped and in true love are mutually exclusive.

Here are the 4 mantras of love which when meditated on and spoken can change the mind and situation:

Mantra 1: "Dear one, I am really here for you." Presence is a major factor in true love. Giving someone your undivided time and attention is a gift and one worth speaking to so that you both know the gift is being given. Say it with your body and your mind.

Mantra 2: "Dear one, I know that you are here and it makes me really happy." Feeling loved requires knowing that your presence is precious and valuable to the person you love. Recognize and appreciate the presence of your love several times a day.

Mantra 3: "Dear one, I know that you are suffering and that is why I am here for you." Mindfully study your love so that you are knowledgeable of when they are in pain. When you recognize this, it is critical to let them know that you see their pain and are there for them.

Mantra 4: "Dear one, I am suffering, please help me." This releases pride and empowers your love to come to your aid. To suffer in silence breeds contempt, confusion and more suffering. Even and especially when your love is the cause, use this mantra to bridge the gap.