Ghosting explained: The reasons people do it (and how to respond)

Ghosting is when someone disappears from your life without explanation. No calls, no messages, no online interaction. Whatever you say or do, they just won’t reply…

If you never hear from someone again, it may be impossible to know why. Psychological research into ghosting is still developing, but experts have identified certain patterns…

People who subscribe to “destiny beliefs” are more likely to ghost someone. They think you’re either meant for someone or you’re not, so they’ll hit the eject button at the first doubt. For them, there’s no middle ground where relationships require work and patience.

Ghosting can also be a preferred strategy for people with an “avoidance” type of personality. They’re particularly reluctant to get close to people (or avoid attachment altogether), often as a result of parental rejection.

Those who ghost others tend to have been ghosted themselves. They may think, “If it’s been done to me, it’s okay if I do it to someone else.” But this shows a lack of empathy and courage. It’s also a missed opportunity to learn from negative experiences.

The appeal of ghosting is that it seems like a quick, no-hassle way to cut ties and move on. There’s no need to explain yourself, face an uncomfortable situation, or deal with difficult emotions. But this only prevents personal development.

With no one to explain what happened, being ghosted can mean asking yourself some pretty tough questions. What did I do wrong? Did I miss something? Am I not even worth a goodbye?

This guessing game is what makes ghosting a cruel form of rejection. You’re left to pick up the pieces alone. But there is a simple way to navigate this...

Make a clean break of your own. Seeing the other person pop up online will only resurface bad feelings, so avoid any reminders. Find a new distraction, but keep your dignity intact.

If someone thinks ghosting is an acceptable strategy, it says more about them than you. They’re the one who’ll have to deal with their immaturity, so leave them to it. Your time is better spent on making a better future for yourself.