9 Phrases to Show Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence (EQ) has been proven to lead to higher wages, better relationships and even better academic performances. But even if you have been trying to learn EQ, you may not know how to show what you've learned, or put it into practice. Here are 9 phrases to do so:

“I’m listening” / “I hear you”: Part of EQ is simply actively listening. But beyond just hearing and processing, it's also conveying to the other person that you're not simply planning your reply, but are in fact engaged with their words.

“Tell me more”: Sometimes just trying to get clarity can come off as unintentionally judgmental. Rather than "What are you talking about?", a phrase like "I would love to know more about that" shows investment and curiosity while also caring for the person's feelings.

“I appreciate you”: This is a step beyond a detached compliment like "great work", instead it emphasizes the emotional connection that you have with the other person. It's conveying a feeling rather than an opinion, which leads to connection.

“I trust you”: Most people will rise to the occasion and expectations placed on them when they know they are supported and believed in. This phrase builds trust both ways and gives the gift of autonomy.

“What are your thoughts? Am I missing anything?”: Having a high emotional intelligence doesn't mean pushing ideas on anyone. Rather it means being open, aware and asking for insights so that all the emotional needs of the group are met by allowing everyone to contribute.

“I have a different perspective”: Respectful disagreement and avoiding resentment by directly addressing differences is also a big part of emotional intelligence. Respectful expression of disagreement is key.

“Is everything OK?”: This simple but powerful phrase shows empathy and caring, while also opening the door to resolving problems. Emotional intelligent people can use this phrase to put their own anger or frustration aside and first address the need of the other person.

“I’m sorry”: Apologizing is a hallmark trait of emotional intelligence. It is attending to the other person's emotional needs, while also conveying your own humility, responsibility and willingness to admit mistakes. There is always room to grow more emotionally intelligent.

“Thanks for (your) understanding”: For small infractions when you haven't hurt feelings or breached anyone's trust, this is the go-to phrase. Rather than centering your own feelings, it shifts the focus onto appreciation and is more appropriate and genuine than apologizing.