The paradox of selfishness

People assume serving yourself comes at the cost of serving others, but I think the latter is impossible without the former. Here's how selfishness can help you serve others - and the world - better👇

We do have obligations to others and to the world. My favorite movie Cloud Atlas has a great line: "Our lives are not our own, from womb to tomb we are bound to others." But to fulfill your obligations, you have to be more than barely getting by.

If your time is completely sucked up by a job that never ends, if your health is spiraling down, if you have no peace of mind, if your certain human itches remain perpetually unscratched - then it'll be hard for you to help anyone.

You need spare headspace, spare physical energy, spare time in your day left if you are to help others and the world. In other words, you really need to be thriving before you can reach out of yourself and be a positive presence for the world and other people.

Even if your goal is to be a selfless server, you have to be physically healthy, emotionally balanced, psychologically fulfilled and socially adjusted.

To be all these things you have to pay attention to your interests, your ego, your specific human nature, your specific needs, and so on. To be immersed in your own self might look selfish, but what's the alternative?

If you never pay attention to your interests, your nature, your moods, your desires - your psyche will be disturbed. People who only focus on helping others can end up bitter and resentful. They're ignoring one of life's great responsibilities - to know and take care of oneself.

You can't help anyone if you're not disciplined, fulfilled, and in good spirits. The more you grow, the more you can give. Only a wide tree can provide shade to many. Only those with a surplus can share.

Want to serve your family? You need to develop strong shoulders they can lean on. Want to help your community? You need to develop a vision and the strength to follow through. The common denominator, no matter who you want to help, is personal strength.

Bottom line. Nietzsche once noted proper charity comes not from pity, but from overflowing strength. Many wish to serve a larger good, and this is a noble instinct. Yes, there are battles bigger than oneself, but to fight them well, the self must become an effective weapon.