How learning a new language can help you fall in love again

Marriage and relationships counselor Gary Chapman identified five unique “languages” to explain how people feel most loved–and thus the best way to love your romantic partner. They’re well known by now, but here’s a concise reminder that could save or improve your relationship.

1. Words of Affirmation

You feel most loved when receiving positive words from your partner, often in the form of everyday compliments and encouragement. Conversely, the absence of affirming words or harsh words can seriously affect you and damage your relationship.

2. Quality Time

You crave and enjoy intentional togetherness with your partner. This time is not limited to romantic time, but is more than just being physically together. The key component is attentiveness to you by your partner.

3. Acts of Service

Your partner’s actions speak louder than words. You feel most loved when your partner serves you, by helping around the house and with chores, cooking meals, assisting with childcare, or anything else that might make your life easier.

4. Receiving Gifts

Tangible expressions of love are most important to you. The price or size of the gift is not what is important, but rather the thought behind it and knowing that your partner made an effort on your behalf in this way.

5. Physical Touch

Being close to your partner and having regular physical interaction with them is most important to you. Not to be confused with the more general feeling of love through sexual intimacy, this is expressed through different forms of both sexual and non-sexual tou

Discovering your language can be difficult, particularly if you connect with more than one. Some helpful questions to ask: What do you desire most in your relationship? How do you most easily express love? What are some things that your partner does, or fails to do, that hurt y

Some couples may need to make greater conscious efforts to speak each other’s love languages than others. Even within the most committed relationships, the active choice to love properly is difficult. The only solution is an intentional effort to develop a habit of showing love

Where love has dwindled, learning to speak your partner’s love language can transform the relationship and turn it from dismal to desirable. Intentionally speaking their love language can overcome obstacles of resentment and apathy, and even recover a love that may seem long-go

Bottom Line: The average lifespan of the euphoric ‘in-love’ experience is extremely short. Understanding love languages provides the chance to pursue a lasting love with your partner by meeting their most important emotional needs.