Reciprocation: A Powerful Weapon To Influence People

Influence is a classic book on persuasion, has sold over 3 million copies & been translated into 30 languages. It has been on the New York Times Best Seller list, as well as on Fortune's list of the 75 Smartest Business Books. It is mentioned in the book 50 Psychology Classics.

It's organized around six principles called the WEAPONS OF INFLUENCE. These are consistency, reciprocation, social proof, authority, liking, and scarcity. Much of human action is characterized by automatic, habitual behavior; it is frequently efficient and, at times, necessary.

These "weapons" of automated influence have numerous components: they are practically mechanical in activation, they may be abused, and they can be easily triggered. In this memo, I'll be decoding the first weapon of influence "Reciprocation."

Reciprocation is the most potent weapon of influence, the rule says that we should try to repay, in kind, what another person has provided us. This rule holds throughout human society. Food and skills were shared in an honored network of obligations by our ancestors.

There is a general distaste for those who take and make no effort to give in return, we will often go to great lengths to avoid being considered one of their number. That is why this rule possesses incredible strength often producing a "yes" response to a request.

Even if we don't like the person we feel the obligation to return the favor and also hold when the favor is unsolicited - even if unwelcome. Taking advantage of this rule is possible since it requires no equal exchange - it's just that we don't enjoy feeling obligated.

The reciprocity rule governs many situations of a purely interpersonal nature where neither money nor commercial exchange is at issue. Usually, small first favors stimulate large return favors which are exploited by a lot of people & by using the rejection-then-retreat technique.

Rejection-then-retreat technique: make a large request that is likely to be denied. After that, make a smaller request, the one you were most interested in. The other person should interpret this as a concession on your behalf and should feel compelled to respond with their own.

How to Say No: A majority of the time people do favors with the sole reason of receiving a bigger favor in return, Recognizing the tactic as one of compliance, we should respond in kind we are not obligated to repay favors for tricks.

Recognize the true intention behind the favor and act accordingly. The rule says that favors are to be met with favors; it does not require that tricks be met with favors. The real opponent is the rule, if we are not to be abused by it, we must take steps to abuse its energy.