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The Secrets of Successful Communication: Insights from 'How To Win Friends and Influence People'

Aug 12, 2023 · 5 mins read

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How To Win Friends and Influence People was first published in 1937 in an edition of only 5000 copies and as of now, over 30 million copies have been sold worldwide, making it one of the best-selling books of all time. It has been translated into nearly every known language.

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In preparation for this book Dale Carnegie read everything he could find on the subject including newspaper columns, magazine articles, and writing from old philosophers and psychologists. He read countless biographies and read over 100 biographies of Theodore Roosevelt alone.

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He interviewed some of the world-famous inventors like Marconi and Edison, political leaders like Franklin D. Roosevelt; business leaders like Owen Young; movie stars like Clark Gable and tried to discover techniques they used in human relations. After 15 years came this book.

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In a research study conducted by Harvard University along with the Carnegie Foundation and Stanford Research Center, it was found that 85% of job success comes from having well‐developed soft and people skills, and only 15% of job success comes from technical skills.

https://www.nationalsoftskills.org/the-soft-skills-disconnect/

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Here in this memo, I'm going to discuss some fundamental techniques that helped me create lasting relationships at my workplace and in my personal life and also improved my overall communication with other people. I'm sure it will do the same for you.

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1. Get Rid Of Criticism:

Positive reinforcement happens to be much more effective when it comes to changing human behavior. As humans, we dread criticism and the resentment it brings. It demoralizes the employees, family members, and loved ones and makes the situation worse.

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Rewarding good behavior increases the likelihood that the behavior will continue in the future. As Dale Carnegie said, "Criticism is like homing pigeons. They always return home." The person we are going to condemn will probably justify himself and condemn us in return.

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Instead of complaining, condemning, and criticizing people, let's try to understand where they are coming from, and why they are behaving the way they do, It gives us insight into their psyche and it breeds sympathy, tolerance, and kindness into our own behavior.

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2. Make Them Feel Important:

John Dewey, one of America's profound philosophers, said that the deepest urge in human nature is "the desire to be important." As human beings we want to feel important it's one of the distinguishing differences between us and the animals.

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We have been chasing this urge to feel important since we were conceived, this desire inspires us to wear the latest styles, drive the latest cars, and build houses too large for our requirements. It also inspires criminals to do what they do & lure teenagers into joining gangs.

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