Why online "mom-culture" can be your saving grace and your ruin

The rise of social media brought about a new culture of motherhood, "mom-culture,” where moms share parenting experiences, tips, and advice on various platforms. This in turn has given rise to a secondary culture, "mom-fluencers." Here's the good, bad, and the ugly.

One of the main benefits it provides for mothers is connection. Having a small child can be isolating. You're ruled by the nap schedule and other logistical needs make getting out hard. But social media platforms are friends and community at the click of a convenient button.

According to a 2018 survey, 81% of mothers reported that social media helped them feel less alone in their parenting journey. A 2017 study found that mothers who participated in online parenting communities reported feeling less stressed and more confident.

It also provides access to info. A 2019 survey found 66% use social media to research parenting topics. This can include everything from breastfeeding to dealing with behavioral issues. Anonymous features can also help get moms resources when they may feel too embarrassed to ask.

One of the main criticisms is that it creates unrealistic expectations for mothers. According to a 2018 study, mothers who spend more time on social media reported feeling more pressure to be perfect and to have the "perfect" child. This can be acute for body and self image.

Every mom knows the sinking feeling when they see a fit mom on instagram who seemingly snapped back from pregnancy to a size 2 overnight. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction with their idenity and self worth.

Another criticism of mom-culture on social media is that it can be judgmental and divisive. According to a 2018 survey, 75% of mothers reported experiencing negative comments or judgment from other mothers on social media. Every mom has been pilloried for her parenting once.

Some adjustments can help: 1. Limit usage to a certain time or hours. 2. Remember what you see is idealized. Photos are edited and reshot. 3. Everyone has opinions. Seek expert advice if you're concerned a parenting style is harmful. Ignore the rest. 4. Interact IRL if possible.

While social media can be a valuable tool for mothers, it is important to be aware of its potential downsides and to use it in moderation. If you find yourself being more harmed than helped by it, take a step back to gain some perspective.