The Rosenberg Reset: How to manage emotions in 90 seconds

We’ve all experienced those moments when an unpleasant emotion seems to punch us in the gut. It’s easy to get sidetracked by that feeling, but there is a simple way to overcome it…

The psychologist Joan Rosenberg advocates a technique that’s nicknamed “The Rosenberg Reset”. It involves one choice, eight feelings, and 90 seconds.

Let’s start with the choice. Every little decision we make from one moment to the next shapes our wellbeing. That’s why we must choose to be fully present whenever possible.

Whether we have an argument or get some bad news, it's easy to simply avoid how we feel. We hide, distract ourselves, or shut down completely. Choosing to be present means simply being aware of (rather than avoiding) what we feel.

The next step is about processing the spectrum of eight unpleasant feelings: shame, sadness, vulnerability, anger, embarrassment, disappointment, helplessness, and frustration.

We naturally think of these emotions as being bad or something to fear, but the truth is they’re simply uncomfortable. Just understanding that subtle difference offers a major shift in thinking.

Emotions strike the body first. We feel a physical sensation and start to fret. But neuroscientists say that this physical pang only lasts 60-90 seconds, then the chemical that causes it disappears from the bloodstream.

Imagine walking along a shoreline. Waves sweep in by your feet, then return to the sea. Unpleasant feelings come and go exactly the same way.

Sometimes there isn’t just one wave; sometimes the waves are different sizes. Grief, for example, is like experiencing one wave after another. But the way they materialize in the body is always the same – and knowing that gives us an advantage.

Next time you feel an unpleasant emotion, remember to stay present. Ride out that wave of 60-90 seconds. Let the physical feeling pass, then return to the moment. With a little practice, you’ll be better equipped to handle anything life throws at you.