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People-pleasing: 8 Ways to Stop Being Excessively Agreeable

Apr 11, 2023 · 2 mins read

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People-pleasing is the tendency to prioritize the needs and desires of others over one's own needs and desires, often at the expense of one's own well-being. It involves constantly seeking approval and validation from others and avoiding conflict or confrontation.

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1. Recognize the problem: The first step to solving any problem is to recognize that there is one. Acknowledge that you have a problem with people-pleasing, and you're on your way to solving it.

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2. Identify your needs and priorities: Take some time to identify what you need and prioritize those needs. Be clear about what you want, what you need, and what you stand for.

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3. Learn to say no: Saying "no" can be difficult, but it's important to set boundaries and protect your own time and energy. Saying "no" is an important part of self-care.

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4. Accept that you can't please everyone: It's impossible to please everyone all the time. Accept that you will sometimes disappoint people and that it's okay.

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5. Focus on self-validation: Instead of seeking validation from others, focus on validating yourself. Acknowledge your own worth and value.

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6. Practice assertiveness: Being assertive means expressing your needs and feelings in a clear and direct way. Practice being assertive in your interactions with others.

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7. Learn to tolerate discomfort: People-pleasing often stems from a fear of discomfort. Learn to tolerate discomfort and be okay with not always being liked.

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8. Seek support: Changing patterns of behaviour can be challenging. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist as you work to stop people-pleasing.

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