Takeaways from the best seller Bittersweet

Author Susan Cain says we need to sit with all sides of human emotion in her book, "Bittersweet".

Bittersweet state of mind: Cain (author of Quiet), explains a bittersweet state of mind as, "the awareness that life is a mix of joy and sorrow, light and dark, and that everything and everyone you love is impermanent."

Cain first discovered her tendency to bittersweet moments through her love of what her friends jokingly called "funeral tunes." She coins it as "technically sad, but what I feel is love... the music makes my heart open: literally, the sensation of expanding chest muscles."

Sad music: "All my life I had a mysterious reaction to sad music; it would make me feel a sense of connection to the people who had known the sorrow that the musician was trying to express." Her research led her to realize that musicologists have studied this reaction to music.

Higher state of mind: "There is a deep tradition across the world and across the centuries of people experiencing this higher state of mind that comes from an awareness of fragility and impermanence."

Sadness vs. chronic happiness (aka winners vs. losers): “The U.S. culture since the 19th century has been organized around the idea of winners and losers...Anything that would be associated with loss, like sorrow, longing, sadness, or melancholia, would be seen as being part of

the loser side of the ledger. Being a winner was associated with being successful and cheerful...In my research, I found a news article with the headline: “Loser Committed Suicide in the Streets.” That is astonishing...but the use of the word loser has only increased."

WHY embrace the bittersweet: “People who are attuned to life’s fragility — the fact that our days are numbered — also tend to find a sense of meaning in their lives and have a greater sense of gratitude; they are more focused on their deeper relationships."

HOW to embrace the bittersweet: "Be less afraid of experiencing melancholy, sorrow, and longing, and to embrace the powers that bittersweetness has to offer: the powers of creativity, connection, and transcendence."

Cain summarized, "What people say over and over is, 'I feel understood,' 'I feel validated.' They’re realizing that they have suppressed the melancholic side of their nature all their lives, and they’re also realizing how valuable that side of their nature is."