Communication skills to argue less, talk more in any situation

Jefferson Fisher, a trial attorney from Texas, posts short clips filmed in his truck on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok about communication that he says work in the courtroom, but after viewing even one video short, it's clear that anyone who interacts can benefit:

His tagline is, "I help you argue less so you can talk more."

Handle a difficult person: "Start with the end." Start the conversation knowing how you want it to end. He says "If it's not worth your peace of mind, it's not worth your time." Separate the person from the problem and don't get caught up in blame, speak toward the solution.

Be assertive without being aggressive: Assert your needs ("I need this from you...") values ("Honesty is very important to me...") and direction (be clear on where you stand and on the consequences of their response and choice).

Be a better listener: "Listen to ask a question, not to make a point." If you miss part of what they say, ask them to repeat the last part. The end is when they generally say what they intended to say. Listen for keywords and emotions, as they are easier to sense.

How to identify if you're with a narcissist: Determine if you are dealing with a narcissist. (Talking about how important they are, name dropping) and ask yourself, "Did I ask?

How to converse with a narcissist: Give them upfront choices and use conditional language. "If XX happens, then I will do YY." If you will walk away, tell them that. Disengage and follow through with consequences.

Outsmart a gaslighter: A gaslighter uses verbal manipulation to make you question your own memory. Think ON the argument, not IN the argument, meaning don't get caught up in random details. Grab onto the real truth and don't let go of it. "Your doubt is their playground."

How to think on your feet: 1) Stop thinking about what the other person thinks about you to avoid nervousness and rambling. 2) Focus on how your words add to the discussion. 3) Pause then give yourself the respect to know what you have to say is worth the time to think about it.

A phrase that might save a relationship: Sometimes people get lost or hurt in an argument and don't know what to say. Instead of letting silence fester, break it by saying, "I can do better." You don't admit fault or place blame, but simply say what is probably universally true.