Are you a victim of domestic violence?

Intimate relationships are bound to involve fights, but it is difficult to recognize the signs of abuse in them. Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior towards an intimate partner, where the abuser exerts power and control over the victim.

In the recent $50m defamation suit, Johnny Depp and Amber Heard both accused each other of domestic violence. Both of their testimonies involve signs of abuse like

throwing/thrashing things, passing mean comments, and acts of violence under the influence of drugs.

Domestic violence can be mental, physical, economic or sexual in nature. Physical assaults may occur only once or occasionally, but other less easily identified abuses establish a pattern of intimidation and control in the relationship.

Signs: If your partner puts you down all the time, treats you roughly—grabs, pushes, pinches, shoves or hits you, controls your social life, stalks you, forces/pressures you into sexual acts, or hurts you under the influence of drugs or alcohol, then your partner is abusing you.

Feelings: Do you feel scared of your partner? Try not to cause conflict out of fear? Blame yourself for your partner's abusive actions? Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want? These might be signs of you being the victim.

The Power and Control Wheel explains the overall pattern of abusive and violent behaviors which are used by an abuser to establish and maintain control over the victim. A victim may also include a child or other relative, or any other household member.

Who can be a victim? You can be a victim of domestic violence, regardless of your age, race, gender, sexual orientation, faith or class. Don’t fall prey to societal standards or expectations and ignore the abuse. No one deserves abuse and it is not your fault.

“Domestic partner abuse eventually erodes away a survivor's sense of self, making them doubt their ability to make good decisions, and shattering their self-esteem.” Lisa Peaty, licensed clinical social worker and therapist in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

Domestic abuse is against the law and the abuser may be subject to criminal prosecution in most countries. Celebrities who have faced domestic violence include Rihanna, Debbi Morgan, Reese Witherspoon, and Gwyneth Paltrow.

Final Note: Awareness and asking for help are the first step towards preventing domestic violence. If you think you are the abuser and are mistreating your partner, make changes and ask for help from a professional. Remember: any type of abuse is unacceptable.