Creative, Productive Ways to Say No

If the person expects you to jump at every request, Try, “’l have to give that some thought. I’ll call you back I an hour.” If you are met with anger or sarcasm, remain cordial and end the conversation with “Okay, then, I hope you get it worked out.”

If you aren't mean, you won't feel bad. You don’t have to shout, “no!” Take a moment to look like you are thinking it over, then say, “I’m going to decline.”

Keep it short. Don’t lecture, and don’t explain yourself. If someone asks why, let them know that, "The reason won’t change the answer.”

Don’t make an excuse. If you say you are too busy to do something that you don’t want to do, you are open to future requests or attempts to sole whatever excuse you are using. To avoid a repeat invitation to something I will never want to do, I often say, “’I’d rather fall in a

If you have declined and the person persists, listen to everything they have to say and when they stop, count to two, look them right in the eye, and start your next sentence with, “Nevertheless, I am not…” You may have to repeat it more than once.

well.” A gentler version - “I just don’t find that appealing.”.

Don’t reinforce needy, dependent behavior. People often resent the most those upon whom they depend the most. Let others do for themselves what they are able to do, even if they aren’t ready or willing.

A little discomfort can be a great deterrent. Try responses like, “What have you tried so far?” or “Who else have you asked?” To a persistent person, I hold up your hand, wag your index finger, and say in a sing song voice, “You aren’t listening to me.”

Tell your most excellent truth. You may learn something about yourself in the search for it. Maybe the answer is “No, I don’t want to do anything that I might feel resentful about later.”

If you are a people pleaser, keep in mind You aren’t garnering any real love by giving in all the time. People don’t love you for what you do for them. They love you for how you make them feel.