How can I find more meaning in my life?

Many of us may often find ourselves asking, ‘Is this all there is to life?’ The good news is that we can, with effort, create meaning for ourselves. And in finding meaning, we can be truly happy – even in a seemingly chaotic and random world.

In the 1970s, psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi asked 100k people internationally to document their thoughts and feelings every day. He used this data to identify the conditions under which humans feel most fulfilled, laying the foundation for the field of positive psychology.

We’ve developed many ways distracting ourselves from existential dread. But when we actually focus and control our mental energy, we experience harmony. Whatever we’re engaging with in those moments naturally feels right, filling us with a satisfying sense of purpose.

This optimal state of experience is called ‘flow’. It’s when we stop thinking and just *do* something that draws on our abilities. You might start a session of writing, painting, cooking, building or hiking – and before you know it, hours have flown by and you feel great.

When we’re in a state of flow, we’re not tormented by worries about what might go wrong or by fears about the future. This ability to get ‘in the zone’ and control our inner experience has a clear benefit. Csikszentmihalyi calls it an “order in consciousness.”

Whenever we feel like we’ve lost control, it’s always within us to restore harmony and psychological order. When you’re fully engaged and connecting to something outside yourself, then doubt, narcissism, and confusion (all of which use up mental energy) can’t exist.

We may talk of ‘losing ourselves’ when immersed in flow, but it’s the opposite: this process allows us to find ourselves and grow. This is true even with simple, pedestrian activities like tending a house plant, sketching the view from a café table, or carving a piece of wood.

In each case, one becomes more than the person they were before. All knowledge absorbed, every refinement of a skill, enlarges the self and makes it more highly ordered, forming “an increasingly extraordinary individual.” In this sense, life becomes whatever is meaningful to me.

Flow activities need to be approached with genuine enthusiasm. The drive is not to succeed or to show off. In fact, the aim is not to show the outside world anything at all. It’s about pursuing an activity for its own sake – one that we have chosen for ourselves.

Basic pleasures (food, sleep, sex) keep us alive and can distracted from unwanted thoughts. But mere pleasure quickly becomes meaningless. By combining challenge and enjoyment, flow gives you 2 vitals to a happy, meaningful life: a sense of purpose, and self-knowledge.