Tired of a competitive coworker? This is how to handle them

We all know someone who thrives on competition. That person who’s so determined to shine that they will do anything to score brownie points, even if it means stepping on toes and taking credit for other people’s ideas. It’s enough to drive you nuts!

Nobody wants their working day to feel like an episode of The Apprentice. So instead of just trying to grin and bear it, use the most effective technique to diffuse the situation: let them know you’re not competing. They can’t beat you in a game you refuse to play.

Are there upsides to working with a competitive person? Sure. They push us to raise our standards, which leads to better productivity and accountability. That’s the healthy version.

It gets unhealthy when a colleague feels less like a teammate and more like a rival: someone who puts their own needs first, keeps score (so they can remind everyone of it), and makes others uncomfortable.

Sometimes bosses can be ultra-competitive… because that’s often what got them there. But as a manager, helping you work well is in their best interest. You can say something like, “To be at my most productive, I need to feel like you and I are on the same team.”

If one of your employees is being overly competitive, you're responsible for drawing the line between what works and what doesn’t. Say that some healthy competition is fine, and hard work will be rewarded, but it’s best if the team feels like a collaborative and cohesive unit.

In the case of a business partner who’s too competitive for comfort, the best approach is to be direct: “I don’t want to feel like we’re competing; it’s counterproductive for the business. I do my best work when we’re a unified team working toward the same goals.”

When you’re concerned about one of your friends’ level of competition, you can be upfront while still maintaining a note of diplomacy. Say something like: “I’m not really comfortable sharing that information with you, as I don’t want it to negatively impact our friendship.”

It’s never a good sign when there’s competition over work within your personal relationship. Let your romantic partner know: “You and I should be a team of equals. I get uncomfortable when you treat work as a competition. Let’s not let that affect our relationship.”

Bottom line: When any kind of teammate takes competition too far, it’s easy to feel challenged or like you’re fighting for survival. This is counterproductive. Push back by simply reminding them that the rewards of working together far outweigh any benefit to outdoing each other.