The simple power of ‘positive rudeness’ will improve your work life

People will do almost anything to avoid appearing rude – but that only holds you back. Think of all the bad haircuts, bad food, and bad sex that could’ve been prevented with a bit of direct communication.

When you break it down, what we think of as ‘rude’ is usually just being assertive or putting our needs before others’. But guess what? There are countless situations where being the right kind of rude is not only appropriate but necessary.

This is especially true for women, who have been conditioned to put others first and are more likely to be perceived as rude or bossy for expressing basic needs. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

There’s a big difference between ‘positive rudeness’ and being a jerk. This is the theme behind The Power of Rude, a book by British journalist Rebecca Reid. Here’s what jumped out to me from her research...

It’s not rude to correct a coworker for mispronouncing your name (or worse, giving you a dumb nickname). The sooner you speak up, the less irritation or awkwardness you’ll have to endure – and your colleague most likely won’t mind being set straight.

Say “sorry” less. Have you ever apologized to someone who bumped into you? Often what we actually mean by “sorry” is “thank you”. Next time you’re late, try saying “Thanks for waiting, I appreciate it” instead of “sorry”. Too much apologizing only undermines you.

Remote working has made the tone of communication more important. You might find yourself “just” checking an issue, “quickly” asking something, or adding emoji to seem nice. This risks showing a lack of confidence. Being effective beats being a sweetheart.

Interruptions happen, but don’t let people talk over you when it matters. You could take the same approach Kamala Harris used with Mike Pence in the US presidential debates (a firm “I’m speaking”) or a slightly softer “I’m almost finished” to get the point across.

Forget about being humble; celebrate your wins! Effort and accomplishment can be easily overlooked when you’re working from home. Reminding the boss of your value isn’t rude; it’s smart. If you don’t highlight your impact, who will?

Bottom line: Free yourself from the perception of rudeness and your life will be better. By being more assertive, you’ll add clarity to situations, get more respect, and have less frustration to vent. So speak up, apologize less, and don’t be afraid to say no!