How ‘radical candor’ can transform your working life

Radical candor = being kind while challenging someone directly. If that sounds like a confusing contradiction, don’t worry. Kim Scott wrote a bestselling book about how those two elements fit together – and it can be understood in minutes.

When we start our first job, we’re at an impressionable age. We’re told to be “professional” – which is often interpreted as leaving our humanity at home. This neutralizes the level of personal care we invest in our work.

Here’s the thing: we can’t just act like robots. In order to succeed, we need to transcend “professionalism” and help create the kind of workplace environments where real human relationships can thrive.

Our willingness to annoy people can be measured on a spectrum ranging from “silence” to “challenge directly”. But early on in life, most of us are taught that: “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything.” The problem is that part of our job is to communicate.

This is where most of us feel conflicted. We want to be professional yet we’ve also been conditioned not to be critical. To avoid slipping into “jerk mode”, we end up making indirect feedback. This leads to manipulative insincerity (passive-aggressiveness, gossip, etc.).

The key is to combine personal care with direct challenges. When we forget to include that element of care, our direct feedback can sound like obnoxious aggression.

Most of us make our biggest mistakes when we do remember to care professionally. We’re so mindful of being “nice” that we don’t share key information that the other person really should be aware of. Scott calls this “ruinous empathy”.

Radical candor is measured not by our choice of words, but by the message the listener receives. If they don’t take it well, simply show more care and understanding. But if they’re just not getting it, it’s time to increase the directness of the challenge.

This doesn’t just apply to us. When you’re listening to a colleague vent about someone else, you’re not helping the situation. Encourage them to engage the source of conflict directly instead.

Bottom line: Feedback should focus on positives without ignoring problems. Radical candor isn’t mean or patronizing. It’s about saying what you think in a clear and balanced way. But before you give radical candor, seek it out first. You’ve got to show you can handle it yourself.