Books have helped me in becoming a better version of myself, changed my temperament towards life, shifted my mindset, and assisted me in almost all areas of my life. I owe this good life to books and the valuable lessons I learned from them.



In the past few years, I’ve read 100+ books on the self-help genre and I’ve noticed that most of them speak and preach the same thing in one way or the other. But there are some books that are fundamental and all the other books are just extensions of those books.

The goal of this memo is to save readers time while also providing them with insights and fundamental lessons derived from over 100+ self-help books.

1. Get Rid of the Victim Mindset:

Most of us complain about unfairness and believe that no one else truly understands how difficult their lives are. People believe that other people have it easier than them and look for reasons throughout the day to make them feel like a victim of their circumstances.

The monologue keeps fueling the victim mindset in people's minds.

Solution:

One way to accomplish this is to shift our perspective and choose how we respond to problems. If your first reaction to a problem is: Why me? Then change the question to "What can I do about it?"

Start taking action if there is anything we can do about it. The very fact that we are focusing on finding a solution rather than worrying about the issue will instill a strong sense of personal accountability in our thinking.

Gratitude is another approach, victimhood, and gratitude can't coexist. Each day, write down your gratitude list. Look for the things you can be grateful for. Appreciating something does not imply that you "like" or "agree" with it; it simply means that you recognize its worth.

2. Quit Running From Your Problems and Fears:

As Mark Manson said, “Life is essentially an endless series of problems, the solution to one problem is merely a creation of the next one. Don’t hope for a life without problems. Instead, hope for a life full of good problems."

Happiness comes from solving problems not avoiding them, To be happy we need something to solve, happiness is, therefore, a form of action; it’s an activity, and it is something we consistently need to strive for and work on. Happiness is a constant work in progress.

Solution:

Action cures fear. Delaying action will not make the fear go away; instead, it will increase its power over us and destroys confidence. Isolate the fear before taking appropriate action. Take one small step at a time, owning your fear so it doesn't own you.