What are microaggressions? And how should you deal with them?

Microaggressions are subtle indignities and insults experienced by minorities on an everyday basis. They are inflicted by people who often have no idea that they’ve done something offensive or degrading.

Microaggressions are typically linked with matters of ethnicity, but they can relate to issues like gender, sexuality, disability or faith. It could be a prejudiced comment masked as a compliment or as overt as someone clutching their purse at the sight of a person of color.

The first step to dealing with a microaggression is to identify one as it’s happening. “Where are you from?” may seem like a perfectly harmless question, for example. But if it’s a white person asking someone of another ethnicity, this may be loaded with a derogatory implication.

Discrimination in any form may cause mental and physical damage. According to the US Center for Health Journalism, racism and microaggressions can impact everything from eating habits to trust in a doctor. They have also been linked to suicidal thoughts among young people.

Simply developing “a thicker skin” is not enough. Dr Kevin Nadal (a professor of psychology who has researched this field) argues that the consequences can be harmful regardless of whether you’re affected by or even aware of microaggressions.

Dr. Nadal developed five questions to ask yourself when considering how to respond to a microaggression.

No. 1: “If I respond, could my physical safety be in danger?”

No. 2: “If I respond, will the person become defensive and will this lead to an argument?”

No. 3: “If I respond, how will this affect my relationship with this person (e.g. co-worker, family member, etc.)”

No. 4: “If I don’t respond, will I regret not saying something?”

No. 5 “If I don’t respond, does that convey that I accept the behavior or statement?”

Before responding, establish your goals. Is it to call out the problematic behavior? Or is it to help the aggressor see the error of their ways? The latter could qualify as a “microintervention,” a term coined by Dr Derald Wing Sue, a psychology professor at Columbia University.

Microinterventions aid understanding without attacking back. Steps include seeking clarification (“I think you’re saying X. Is that right?”), separating intent from impact (“Maybe you didn’t realize, but”), or sharing experience (“I used to say that too, but then I learned Y”).

Finally, identify whether the aggressor is open to a rational conversation about the issue. If not, step away. Drawing boundaries and discussing your experiences with others are key forms of self-care, which can be integral to maintaining your wellbeing in unhealthy environments.