How can I navigate big life changes smoothly?

Life is unpredictable. It can throw challenges our way at any moment – and sometimes things are never quite the same. How we navigate these disruptions is known as a “life transition”.

Without a transition, we get stuck. But whether the change we’re facing is voluntary (like a break-up) or involuntary (like a job loss), how we transition must be a conscious choice.

New York Times writer Bruce Feiler spent five years talking to people all across America about how they dealt with dramatic changes. He was looking for consistent patterns...

What he discovered was a set of universal principles that anyone can apply to their own life, no matter the situation.

Life transitions can seem chaotic, but they actually have a simple structure: the mourning phase, the adjustment phase (shedding old habits, making new ones), and the start of a new chapter. They don’t always happen in order, so the trick is to start with the one you’re good at.

Feiler found that nearly 80% of people cope with their emotions by turning to rituals. Whether it’s getting a tattoo or learning to skydive, these gestures signify that we’ve passed through the mourning phase and are now ready to move on.

The adjustment phase sees us cutting things out of our lives: ideals, routines, or emotional baggage. This is a natural part of our growth that frees up space for something new.

You can also respond to uncertainty by getting creative. It could be learning to cook, taking up writing, or dusting off your old art supplies. The common denominator is embracing novelty.

Beginning a new chapter always impacts the narrative of your life. But this is an opportunity to change how you see yourself and find a little bit more meaning in the bigger picture.

Bottom line: Every life transition has three phases: mourning, adjusting, starting over. Start with what you’re best at. Identify your feelings and find a symbolic outlet to make shedding the past easier. As you move on, take the time to update your life story for the better.