Dr. John Gottman's "Sound Relationship House" explained

World Renown expert Dr. John Gottman and The Gottman Institute have studied marriages for decades. His claim to fame is that he can predict with over 90% accuracy whether couples will divorce or not after speaking with them for just a few minutes.

Gottman developed a tool called The Sound Relationship House which explains the core values that hold together every stable relationship. The house is comprised of 7 floors which build upon eachother, and it is all held together by 2 critical walls. These pieces are:

Floor 1: Bulid Love Maps

The solid foundation of a relationship is a built on is an understanding of who your partner is. Knowing their likes, dislikes, childhood memories, friends, dreams and stresses all help ensure you know eachother better than anyone else.

Floor 2: Share Fondness & Admiration

Both partners must be open and vocal about sharing praise, compliments and appreciation. Doting on eachother for the specific characteristics you love creates an environment of warmth, closeness and love.

Floor 3: Turn Towards Each Other, Not Away

Recognize one another's bids for attention - that is anything your partner does in an attempt to connect with you, such as asking for a hug - and be receptive. Allow the bids to bring you closer rather than ignoring them or turning away.

Floor 4: Positive Perspective

Both partners should firmly believe they are on the same team and choose to believe the best about one another as much as possible. Having a positive perspective means avoiding offense and criticism, instead choosing to stay positive.

Floor 5: Manage Conflict

Conflict is inevitable, so manage it well by staying open to accepting your partner's feelings, desires and influence. Additionally it's important to discuss all problems whether they're solvable or not. Finally learn to self soothe and remain calm.

Floor 6: Make Life Dreams Come True

Helping your significant other achieve something they always wanted is one of the greatest gifts you can give. Encouraging them to get the degree they've always wanted, or whatever their dream may be, is a way to demonstrate your deep love.

Floor 7: Create Shared Meaning

The top level of the house is creating an inner world for just you and your spouse. Whether it's rituals just for the two of you, inside jokes or traditions, develop rituals of connection that are meaningful to you both.

Finally are the main walls of Trust and Commitment. None of the floors hold together without both people being able to trust the other and staying committed to the union. With all these combined, it is possible to have a have a happy, healthy and resilient relationship.