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Science of Why Unhealthy Relationships Can Be So Addictive

Jun 15, 2023 · 2 mins read

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Unhealthy attachments in relationships can be perplexing. Often people form deep attachments even with those who mistreat them or remain unavailable. Understanding the psychological aspects and the science behind these dynamics is crucial to gaining awareness and personal growth.

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Unhealthy dynamics in relationships create addictive patterns known as intermittent reward systems. These patterns, characterized by inconsistent behaviors, are remarkably compelling and challenging to break free from.

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Experiencing intermittent rewards, such as sporadic affection or inconsistent communication, fuels anxiety and the desire to pursue love that is only given in unpredictable doses. These patterns resemble addictive behaviors and play on our need for validation and affection.

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Dopamine, a neurotransmitter, plays a vital role in motivating our pursuit of potential rewards. In unhealthy relationships, dysregulation of dopamine occurs, leading to obsession, neglect of responsibilities, and heightened anxiety.

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Dopamine signals anticipation of pleasurable experiences, but it does not create pleasure itself. It motivates us to seek rewards, with the release of dopamine increasing based on our perceived desirability of the reward.

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Intermittent reward systems in relationships disrupt the natural regulation of dopamine, keeping us hooked in unhealthy dynamics. The unpredictability of rewards and the familiarity of past experiences create a persistent activation of the dopamine system, leading to anxiety and

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Unhealthy relationships with intermittent rewards resemble addictive behaviors, such as compulsively checking for messages or neglecting other priorities while waiting for affection. Our self-worth becomes intertwined with the outcome, heightening the emotional stakes.

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To break free from the grip of unhealthy attachments, seeking consistency in relationships is essential. This involves engaging in open conversations, setting boundaries, and prioritizing personal growth and mutual respect.

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While relationships can evolve, it is crucial to recognize when the other person lacks interest or respect for boundaries. If your partner is unwilling to acknowledge their faults or grow, it may be necessary to seek a partner who can meet your needs and treat you with respect.

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If you enjoyed this Memo follow me @sciencesimplified  for more and check out this similar Memo that I think you'll enjoy:

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