4 Signs You’re A People-Pleaser (And 4 Ways to Stop) ...

It is human nature to want to please others and to want to be liked and accepted by them. There’s nothing wrong with trying to please or impress people. As long as the intention is right, and it doesn’t affect or drain our mental and physical energy.

People-pleasing takes a different form every time we put our priorities on hold for other people’s agendas and feel responsible for what other people are feeling and even blame ourselves for it. In this memo, I'll be discussing four signs of people pleasers and 4 ways to stop.

1. You Are Afraid To Say “NO” To Other People’s Requests: It's difficult for a people pleaser to say no to other people’s requests. They want to be liked by everyone and want to make everyone happy. So they tend to get overly agreeable. Their automatic answer is always YES.

Solution: Set healthy boundaries, while it’s good to help people in need when you do it out of fear of rejection or dislike, you are acting as a people pleaser. If you feel that you’ll resent your decision to say yes, then you should definitely say NO.

2. You Apologize Way Too Much: People pleasers are afraid of conflict and so they overcompensate by saying sorry too many times. An apology loses its essence when you do too much of it. People take your apology for granted and it loses its value.

Solution: If you want to apologize then do it for the right reasons. Put a high value on your apology and do not hand it out as something worthless. You are as entitled to your opinion as the other person. Before you say sorry, ask yourself What am I apologizing for?

3. You Always Adjust Your Behavior According To Other People: If someone is angry, disappointed, or frustrated, they will feel as if they are the cause of that person’s emotions and try to adjust their behavior according to other people. They are easily manipulated by others.

Solution: There is no reason that people need to feel happy or pleased all the time, everyone has the ability to cope with a wide array of emotions and feelings, and it’s not our job to prevent them from feeling negative emotions.

4. You Put a Lot Of Energy Into Trying To Impress People: People-pleasers walk the extra mile in trying to impress others to win their approval. They fear that if they don’t do what people want, they won’t be kept around. So they do everything in their power to impress them.

Solution: Accept the fact that you can’t impress or please everyone, it’s an impossible feat to make everyone happy. Accepting this will make you stronger. Deriving your sense of self-worth from your work is what you should focus on. Don't be dependent on others to validate you.