How to Reverse Balding

The hair growth industry is worth about $3.6 billion, with a b. And it's a long and storied industry dating from ancient times to present. Yet throughout that time, remedies have stayed the same--topical application. Now a pill will revolutionize the industry.

If hair loss feels like a paranoia driven by our social media-centric world, you'd be wrong. Baldness as an affliction is seen as far back as biblical times. In II Kings, the prophet Elisha is mocked by a gang of surly kids. He's so upset he has God send two bears to kill them.

If hair loss feels low stakes, again you'd be wrong. Many studies have shown that people correlate hair with power and virility. Only five U.S. Presidents have been bald, and none since Dwight Eisenhower. Maybe Trump’s infamous obsession wasn't so silly after all.

And if hair loss feels like a guy's issue, you guessed it--you're wrong. Female pattern baldness is a condition with huge stigma and can be caused by anything from genetics to PCOS. In fact while many men do suffer, it's somewhat socially acceptable compared to bald women.

An ancient Egyptian remedy involved donkey hooves, dates, and dog paws would be ground together, mixed with oil, cooked, and rubbed on bald heads. Henry VIII fought his hair loss by spreading a mix of dog and horse urine on his head. Thank God things turned more clinical.

The Sutherland Sisters toured the country, charging to see their extraordinarily long hair. For an extra fee, visitors to the side show could purchase their super secret hair growth formula. It turns out the formula was just alcohol, oil, and water. But it made them rich.

Madam CJ Walker found a customer base about fifty years later marketing to African Americans. Her formula was made with sulfur, copper sulfate, beeswax, coconut oil, and most importantly violet extract to cover the rotten egg smell from the sulfur. It made her a millionaire.

But for all this history, Rogaine shaped the hair growth industry into what it is today. Its marketing targeted men with ads featuring famous sports figures and actors. It's message, ‘baldness is something everyone deals with, but you could win the battle and be like them’.

Now, after a few thousand years of ointments, dermatologists have gone rogue--prescribing a low dose of Minoxidil (the active ingredient in Rogaine) orally in pill form. Interestingly, instead of formal studies, they've just done this by trial and error. But successfully 10Kx!

While someone should do some checks to be sure no one is about to keel over from a side effect of the pill while chasing lush hair, it does seem like revolution is upon us. In another decade or two, baldness will be history. ...We'll have to choose Presidents some other way.