Navigate any conversation: Advice from expert interviewer Terry Gross

Terry Gross is a master of interviews. For over four decades, she has specialized in getting all manner of people – especially A-list celebrities – to open up on her NPR show Fresh Air.

Her approach is driven by compassion and meticulous research. But even if you’ve just met someone for the first time, she has some tips to get the conversation flowing in any situation.

One foolproof way to break the ice is simply saying: “Tell me about yourself.” It’s deliberately open, makes no assumptions, and lets the other person choose what to reveal.

Being genuinely curious is the key to getting others talking. When someone clearly wants to hear what we have to say, we’re more likely to open up. The way to signal that interest is by communicating empathy (or sympathy) and explaining why we’re responding that way.

Humor can elevate nearly any conversation. But if being funny isn’t your strong point, enthusiasm and clarity of mind can still make the right impression.

When you’ve got a job interview, it’s natural to have a rough idea of how you’ll respond to certain questions. Social situations with strangers (like a date) aren’t so different. Get a sense of where your boundaries lie: what you’re comfortable talking about and in what terms.

If a question catches you off-guard (either in a job interview or a social encounter), you can pivot by saying “let me share an experience”. This allows you to tell a story that indirectly addresses the subject in question as you see fit while buying you some time to think.

If there’s a question you really don’t want to answer, just be honest about it and say so. If you’re reluctant to come off as curt, try saying: “I’m struggling to think of a specific answer to that.”

Physical cues are just as important as verbal ones. If someone’s body language suggests that they’re not fully engaged, don’t just keep talking – give them an out. Similarly, if you’re the one that needs to leave, simply say: “I’d love to keep talking, but I’m late.”

There’s a certain balance to a healthy exchange: the liberty to ask anything should be paired with the liberty to push back if something feels off-limits. As long as both parties respect that, you never know where the conversation might lead you.