On Showing Love and Compassion to a Narcissist

I would never have thought of myself as a narcissist magnet but here I am, maybe there could be a downside to being knowledgeable about narcissism, I wonder if I often see too many red flags that others would not have noticed?

Regardless, I’ve had the opportunity of being around a few narcissists. I say opportunity because you get to see for real, what you've read about. It’s not a pleasant opportunity to experience gaslighting, triangulation or silent treatment but hey, shit happens and life goes on.

And when life goes on and you’ve got your shit back together and retained your humanity and empathy, you realize that the narcissist wasn’t born a narcissist. Early on life, they probably experienced some sort of trauma which they are yet to be healed from.

They are very much people still deserving of compassion and love. And I’ve come up with five points to keep in mind after you choose to show narcissists love and compassion. This can help you to follow your heart while protecting it at the same time.

Accept who they are and what you’re dealing with. As long as you keep trying to make excuses for their behavior and flawed personality, you’ll never quite get it. You would always be thrown off balance by what they say or do. Call a spade a spade.

Work on yourself. If you’ve been hurt by a narcissist in any way, you need to heal. You need to forgive them and forgive yourself for opening up your heart to them. You need to let go. You need to move on. This was just a chapter in your life. Own it and Own your life.

You cannot change the narcissist. Choosing to stay or choosing to show love is not going to cut it. No human being can change another human being, unless they wish to change. Do not take on an impossible task and frustrate your life in the process.

Have zero expectations. Show love, be generous, stay kind because it’s who you are. The sun shines because it is the sun. Sugar is sweet because it is sugar. Do what you want to do for people in general because it's who you are and not because you want something in return.

Guard your heart. In your dealings with others, do not judge or dismiss them because of your past experiences. Instead, let those experiences shape how much of your heart you unveil to others. Remember that your vulnerability and trust will not always be appreciated.

Finally, whatever you do, never blame yourself. No it’s not your fault that you have/had to deal with a narcissist in your life.  To show love or compassion to a narcissist or anyone else, you must perfect the art of loving yourself. You are deserving of love, you precious jewel.