WORRY

Worry. As a child, I was always worried. Worried about the additional portion of food to eat because I was never satisfied with the portion I was given. I was always hungry.

This endless hunger sort of became a worry, I was always worrying about the next meal, how to eat an additional portion.

At thirteen, I was tone-conscious of the fact that I wasn't always well-dressed.

This consciousness was not far-fetched that I do not own and wear the latest wears. Slim-fitted jean trousers, big-sized polos and sneakers. I was displeased. I wanted to feel among. I wanted to be well-dressed, this became another source of worry.

The clothes I own were already fading, I think so; Ankara wears, two baggy jean trousers and several small sized shirts. I was dissatisfied, and began to worry about what people thought of me.

I was worried that people; some persons will look down on me especially my classmates, they would jeer at how outdated my clothes were. As far as I was concerned, all my clothes then were "old" because they were not the latest, they were not the "reigning" clothes.

I remember, I did a little fasting that was common with kids of my age; no food and water till 12pm when I would pray. I prayed to God to give me new and fine clothes. I used this popular Bible passage: Matthew 7:7 to pray. I pray also that God should bless my parents.

After a month, nothing changed. No new clothes. I began to worry, "did I not fast and pray well?". "Did God not tell us to ask him for whatever we need or want?". Not trying to downplay the great efforts of my parents when I relayed to them about my "old" clothes.

They told me nothing was wrong with the clothes that I was just being intimidated by others' clothes. Maybe true or not, all I wanted was new clothes!

There is this popular English saying, "Half a loaf is better than none" which has further been modified into a colloquial form by Nigerians as, "Half bread is better than none". This saying was not glorified in my early teenage years.

Worrying did not make me understand that having little is better than nothing. I had clothes to wear but didn't know that there were people who don'tq have decent clothes to wear.

I never knew there were some other people who do not have any food to eat at all.